Change can be hard. Change can be painful. For the longest time,
I didn’t want to make any changes in my life. I knew what to expect every day
and I was okay with that. The problem was, I wanted big things to happen but I
wasn’t willing to put in any work. But, at certain points in my life I knew I had to suck it up.
Nothing was going to happen without stepping outside of my comfort zone. I was
always going to be a big girl if I didn’t change my eating and start exercising.
I was always going to be miserable in my marriage if I didn’t leave. I was
always going to wonder what might have been if I didn’t come out and tell her how I felt. None of these things
were easy but they were necessary to get to where I wanted in life.
I went into
every big life decision knowing pain and chaos was inevitable but it would be worth
it.
That’s where a lot of people get stuck. We fear
pain. We don’t know how to endure. As bizarre as it sounds, being numb and
unhappy is easy. For me, I had created this little wall. I went through the motions and was just existing. I hated myself, I
hated my life. I didn’t even know who I was as a person. I had to fight every single
day and still do to be where I want to be. Nothing worth anything is ever easy.
Taking the first step to begin running was one of those painful decisions. It hurt. I
won’t lie and say "oh it’s amazing" and "every day is a joy" and "I smile every
single step". That couldn’t be further from the truth. Every run, even now, is
painful. But, the pain always subsides. Mentally and physically it's hard and takes work. I still
have to talk myself into getting out the door every single day. Once I am out
the door I then tell myself to put one foot in front of the other. Literally,
that is what I am thinking every single run. Just keep going. Eventually, the pain
subsides, the cobwebs from the night before or that day wipe away and my legs
remember what they are meant to do. That’s when the enjoyment comes, I start to
feel every muscle in my body and my heart pumps and my senses kick in. That’s the awesome part, that’s the reason I am out there. To get there,
you must suffer through the mental mess and the initial aches and pains of
starting. After that, you hit the sweet spot.
That’s the reason some people stop
running. You expect it to get easy. You expect it to be pleasant. But, it
isn’t. That’s not why I do it. A runner runs to feel the pain, to feel the
senses to feel the heart, I run to feel.
I run to think. I run to do more than just exist.
Nothing good in life is ever
easy. Everything takes work. Your missing out if you’re expecting things to
come easy. You are going to quit every time you start if you are expecting it
to get easy. But, if you stick with it, you will get stronger. Your mind will get
stronger, you will develop an ability to endure. You will enjoy the pain
because you will know you have made changes in your body. You will crave being
sore because you know that’s when your muscles are getting stronger. You will
become addicted to progress and change. But, you must put in the work and
expect pain to get to where you want to be.
To begin exercise, no matter what you chose, it’s going to
hurt at first. Running will hurt. Weight training will hurt. Joining a gym will
hurt. Yoga will hurt. Rock climbing will hurt. You must step outside of your
comfort zone. You will eventually want to live in that zone once you get there. You can absolutely
do it. Don’t fear the pain. Embrace it!
Beet red thighs from a cold run