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Friday, September 29, 2017


Identifying yourself as gay lends itself to so many stereotypes and preconceived ideas. Here are a few misconceptions:

1. All lesbians are butch. There are girly lesbians, it's a thing. I'm absolutely girly; I paint my toenails, occasionally wear skirts and love my femininity. There are gay girls who don't and that's okay. Not all gay girls are the same, just like all straight girls aren't the same. Everyone has their own style and I think butch girls look cool as hell and are confident in themselves and wear what they want. You don't have to look a certain way to love women. Your appearance has nothing to do with your sexuality or who you are attracted to.

5. Just because I am attracted to women, does not mean I am attracted to you. I have honest to goodness been asked this and even had women feel uncomfortable because of this. Attraction goes beyond that, straight people are not attracted to everyone they meet, why would we be?

6.  This is not a phase. I am not going to wake up and change my mind. I am attracted to women. I married a woman. I love women. I love sex with... you guessed it, women. I could ask you, is your straightness is a phase?

7. There is not a "girl" and "guy" in the relationship. Neither of us is a dude or like a dude, that's kind of the appeal to the whole thing.

8. I don't want to know your lesbian fantasy.  I don't want to have a threesome with you; I don't want you to watch me and my wife. Just don't, thank you.

9. I don't know every gay person. Do you think we have a secret club? Do you know every straight white middle aged guy? NO. Dumb question.

10. I don't hate men. Quite the contrary, I have lots of guy friends and usually I get along with dudes better. I don't hate them, I just don't want to have sex or be in a relationship with them. That's all.

11. Stop asking about scissoring. There are lots of ways to have lady sex; buy a book, look it up. Genitals do not have to make contact to have sex.

These are just a few of the misconceptions I have come across. Most of them are just plan ol' ignorance and that's totally okay. But, I think generalizing everyone is never good in any scenario and gay girls are no exception. I think sexuality is one part of who you are. The awesome thing about people is we are all different, that's what makes us interesting. So, don't assume gay girls are going to look a certain way or act a certain way.

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