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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

How you hate

Love is a basic human right.  

Love does not politicize, it does not hate and it cannot be bought. Love does not care where you’re from, what religion you practice or what color your skin is. Love is as complicated and as simple as it gets.

How terrible would it be for me to tell you your love means nothing? For me to tell you your love is a joke, it’s not real and doesn’t mean anything?  What if I told you your love was inferior to mine? That you had no right to feel it and even less right to share it. What would you say?

I have talked about it, shared it and been completely open about my relationship with my wife. I have shared struggles and joys. I have shared the ups and downs of the first years of marriage like anyone else. My marriage is just like any other. No one has the right to say otherwise. I don’t care who you pray to, where you spend your Sundays or who you think gave you the right to judge my marriage. My marriage is real.

 I didn’t marry in a church, but not everyone does. I didn’t consult a priest before exchanging vows, but not everyone does. I didn’t ask anyone whether the love we have is righteous, no one should have to. But, even after the supreme court of the United States granted me the right to marry the woman whom I love with every cell in my body, I find myself having to still defend it. I am told I don’t have the same rights as any other married couple and that my marriage is not a “traditional” marriage.
No one stopped me when I was 18 years old and not even legal to drink, but able to sign a marriage certificate. This holy and sacred institution that allows a kid to have a legal and recognized marriage but discriminates against a 32-year-old who doesn’t fit the “traditional” profile of marriage.  Tell me how that makes sense, because it does not. Gay marriage is not recognized by all BUT marriage between two kids are okay because it’s between a “man” and a “woman”.  The disconcerting truth that people use the bible to give them moral authority to decide and dictate the rights of others is unacceptable.

My marriage is just that, a marriage. My marriage should not be defined by your religion. It’s just that, your religion. I don’t judge your marriage or when you divorce. I don’t scoff at your beliefs. I don’t roll my eyes when you pray.  I don’t tell you your less than because your different from me. Being happy and being in love is a very personal thing. It has nothing to do with your religion or your superiority. I just want the same rights and abilities any heterosexual couple has because that’s basic human decency. If you have to use your religion as a basis to prove your morals and faith then, that’s a faith I want no part of.  But, I will tell you, if I’m judged by God for who I love, then I will guarantee you will be judged for how you hate.

bible verses. Love does not fail...it is the people which fail you.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Bad Mama Jama

Ernest Hemingway once said, “We’re stronger in the places that we’ve been broken.”

If I have learned anything from life this far, it’s that the darkest depths eventually lead to the brightest places; enduring pain grants us the ability to grow and the most toxic people teach you the most significant lessons. I’ve learned that no matter how grim things are, there is always hope; and no matter how weak you can feel at times, you are strong. You have to keep going.

Life is about who you love and who you hurt.  

Life is about how you see yourself.

Life is about happiness, trust and compassion.

Life is about what you say and what you mean and having a positive impact on those around you.

Life is about finding your strength.

In what ways are you strong?

Seeing your flaws and shortcomings is an easy thing. Especially, when people are so eager and willing to point those out.  But, the hard thing is to look at yourself and see your strength. To ignore the negativity and doubt in your head. To see your worth and to know where you’ve come from and what you’ve overcome.

Strength can be manifest in a million different ways. It doesn’t have to look the same. My strength may not look like yours.  It's found in my ability to forgive; to let go of things that don't serve me. I don't hold on to anger and I always look for the best in every situation and every person. My strength is in my ability to love those close to me fiercely and so completely. My strength is in my ability to feel, and to feel deeply. My strength is in my ability to endure and never give up. My tears and my open heart can be deceiving but, rest assured, I am strong. I have been hurt, I have fought, I have persevered. This little body with this high pitched voice is stronger than you'll know.  I have been broken, I have been judged and I have endured. I am strong. 


I am a bad mama jama. 

Tuesday, February 13, 2018


Life gets insanely busy.

To-do lists are made, errands are ran and work comes and goes. In the depths of the commotion it's hard to find stillness, hard to take time to look around and see what you have. Today, I'm doing just that…

To My Forever Valentine..

Thank you for you finding me, I didn’t make it easy.

Thank you for seeing me, when I didn’t even really see myself.

Thank you for loving me, when I believed I didn’t deserve it.

Thank you for showing me what love is supposed to look like, I never knew it.

Thank you for holding me, when I thought my pieces would crumble.

Thank you for touching me, I never knew tenderness could be so wonderful.

There are a million things you do every day that you think goes unnoticed, but it doesn't. You cannot imagine how much my world has changed since you walked into my life. You have fundamentally changed who I am and what I thought I knew about love and happiness.

Not just on Valentine's Day, but every single day I hope you know how very loved you are. We have been through so much together and no matter the drama that has crept in and out of our lives, you have never let it affect. I love you more today than I did the day I met; the day we shared our first kiss; or the day you said I do. I wake up every morning and realize that somehow I have found a way to love you more than the previous.

I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I know I will work every day to show you how very loved you are. And, if tomorrow you decide I've been more trouble than I'm worth, I hope you know there has never been anyone loved the way I love you.

I love you, always.


Friday, February 9, 2018

I love to eat!

A little unknown fact about me, I am ridiculously lactose intolerant. Dairy and I do not like each other and honestly, never have. I didn’t figure this out until my 30s, so it has sort of been life changing.
Meat and dairy are bad. Period. There is research that shows it, studies that prove it and doctors who know it. So, after watching the film, What the Health, I committed to get myself back on track. Quit the food that was hurting me, literally and figuratively.

So, with my wife on board and my kids a bit unhappy, I gave meat and dairy the boot for the last time. My crew has not completely cut meat out of their diet but, my wife has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced her intake and my kiddos have agreed to as well.

I hate the vegan stigma. I don't do it to save puppies (but honestly, I would definitely save puppies), I don't buy vegan clothing and all that jazz. I just want myself and my family to be as healthy as possible. Plant based isn’t this bizarre way to eat, it's eating fresh foods. I don't feel deprived. I look forward to eating; I don't miss the meat or the upset stomach and pain that came with dairy. It's a sustainable way to live and thrive in the only body you have.So, if you're feeling a bit adventurous give it a try. Here is some food porn for your viewing pleasure. 

Some of our recent meals:

TLT- Tofu, Lettuce and Tomato with Guac

Vegan Chili

Vegan Spaghetti Sauce

"Pulled" Jack fruit sandwich with sweet potato fries

Spicy Black Bean Burger

Stir Fry with Vegan Beef substitute

We have bombarded our Pinterest up lately, with vegan recipes and honestly (with the exception for Falafel Meatballs) everything has been delicious. If you don't yet, follow my Pinterest board (link on the side) and get some recipes to try at home!

My advice is have Meatless Monday, play with some recipes and see what you think. You may just like it!

Friday, February 2, 2018

This season in my life

How long will it last?

How many more times will I hear, "can we cuddle"?

How many more times will I be asked to read a story?

How many more times will I be able to hold their little hand in mine?

How many times will I get to save the day or be the person needed to mend a wound?

I don't know...

What I do know is, this season of my life isn't going to last forever. My days of being number 1 are numbered and my heart breaks in anticipation of that.

I know there will come a time when I won't be needed, when I will be more of an embarrassment than I care to know. I know a day will come when I will not have their wet kisses on my cheeks and their sticky fingerprints on my countertops. I know the day will come when I won't hear "mom" yelled 1,555,555,555 times. I know this part of my life won't last forever, and there are some days when I have tied a knot at the end of my rope and I feel like I'm barely hanging on, but those days pale in comparison to the days of cuddles and conversations.

So, for today and the next today's I get,  I will hold their hand. I will kiss their cheek, and memorize every freckle and every giggle. I will appreciate each and every moment and know that I am blessed beyond measure. I am a mom and I am deep in this season of my life where chaos reigns and time never slows down.